Daddy? Or Chips?

My girlfriend peed on a stick.

Yes, my girlfriend peed on a stick.

A few seconds later, nothing would ever be the same again.

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So as I waited outside our bathroom, knowing that no matter what the stick would say that nothing would really ever be the same, my mind raced, it flew, it was transported to places dark and light alike because truth be told, this is the first time I've ever had a scare. A pregnancy scare, and in that few minutes that's exactly what it was; a scare. I was frightened out of my wits and for so many reasons! Am I too young? Am I ready? Can I really raise a child?

A few minutes later, I had an answer; I'm going to be a dad. A father. I'm going to be (partly) responsible for an actual human being. I had to sit down for a minute... I got up a few hours later, the weight of the realisation really dawning on me.

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I'm going to be a dad.

I'm going to be a dad.

I'm going to be a dad.

It keeps playing over and over in my head. I'm going through my daily routine in a zombie like manner just playing hundreds of scenarios in my head over and over again. I'm wearing myself out thinking about it but somehow it feels good to do so. 

Once my selfish thoughts are over, all I can think of is Karli and how she must feel. We talk about stuff, there are tears and lots of hugs, then more talking and tears and hugs. This was always the plan eventually... Just not yet, but we have each other; actually we've had each other for seven years now and we've so much love for each other. In some ways, having a baby right now is a physical manifestation of that and we can't wait to share that love with one more person.

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That was three months ago and now we're in the process of streamlining and decluttering our lives in preparation for a baby (I can't believe I'm saying that). Everything's changed somehow and it's going to change even more over the next few months and it all came from my girlfriend peeing on a stick.

I am Timi